A marketing exec called me after reading my posts about the branded merchandise industry (check them out on LinkedIn).
Mid-sized tech company. Six years ordering branded merch.
"I think I've been wasting money," she said. "I need to know how much."
She pulled three years of invoices: $325,000 total.
Then she asked her team what they'd ordered.
Conference tote bags? Vague memory. Client gifts? "I think we did those?" Onboarding kits? "The ones with pens?"
Nobody remembered. $325,000. Three years. Zero clarity.
I told her to call her branded merch distributor and ask five questions:
Explain our brand story
Show how our merch reinforced it
What behavior were we trying to influence?
How did you measure if it worked?
What would you change if the goal was retention vs. awareness?
She called back two hours later. "He couldn't answer one. Not one."
She pulled old email threads. Each one identical:
Her: "We need something for our event." Him: "How many? Budget? Timeline?" Her: "150 people, $5K, six weeks." Him: sends catalog links
Zero strategy. Zero discovery. Just: how many, how much, when.
Dozens of orders. $100K+ in his margin.
This is the bottom-feeder business model. It's not consulting. It's order processing.
And the industry protects it. They eliminated barriers to entry, flooded the market with these catalog “slingers” and let them masquerade as "consultants."
She fired him.
He probably replaced her with another unsuspecting customer. That's how this works. They don't need to be good. They just need customers who don't know what questions to ask.
She gave me her next project: desk organizers for top clients announcing a new feature.
Instead of "what's your budget," I asked:
What's your brand story?
What do you want clients to do?
What proves you understand them?
Two weeks after delivery, we'll measure actual outcomes.
Next time she has a project, she'll ask:
"We're trying to influence X behavior. Could merch help?"
"What proves we understand our audience?"
"Show me outcome data"
This is what the industry fears. Not regulation. Not competition. Informed clients asking basic questions their distributors can't answer.
The Challenge:
Pull your last three invoices.
Call five people who got the items.
Ask: "Do you still have it? Use it? Remember who sent it?"
If most say no, you're funding someone's six-figure income while they browse catalogs.
Then ask your distributor those five questions.
When they can't answer (and they won't) you'll know exactly how much money you've been wasting.
Your distributor is counting on you never asking.
85% of the industry operates this way. They joined for $500, got catalog access, and now make money from clients who don't know what strategic consultation looks like.
Ask the questions. Fire the order-takers. Demand better.
